Saren Eyre Loosli and her extended family are getting excited, and getting ready, for their four-day July reunion at Loosli’s parents’ Utah lake house. They expect to see 54 family members, ranging in age from six months to 80. “The kids sleep on the floor or out on the deck or on the lawn in tents,” said Loosli, founder and director of the Power of Families online community. “It’s not necessarily the most comfortable four days, but it’s worth it.”
If you’d like to hold a family reunion, here are ten key questions to answer and advice on how to make the get-together memorable, fun, affordable and ways to avoid rookie mistakes.
1. When should I start planning a family reunion?
“We usually say people should start planning 12 to 18 months in advance,” said Edith Wagner, editor of the digital Reunions Magazine. The National Family Reunion Institute site has a timeline recommending what to do and when to do it.
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If you want to hold a reunion soon and haven’t started planning, Wagner suggests organizing a stripped-down version. This might mean a gathering at a family member’s house with a picnic or a campsite at a campground (rental cost: about $300 to $1,000).
Create a family reunion social media thread, Facebook group or private website where guests can stay up to date on news about the event.
2. When should I hold a family reunion?
Summer is generally best when kids are out of school. “You just have to make sure there are no weddings, graduations, major birthdays or vacations planned then,” said Wagner. Offer family members a few dates to choose from, maybe through an online Doodle poll.
Family reunions often last three or four days — typically Friday through Sunday or Monday. Often, reunions begin with a meet-and-greet on Friday. Group activities begin Saturday morning and afternoon, followed by a banquet or catered dinner. There are more activities on Sunday, with departures on Sunday or Monday.
3. Who should host the family reunion?
You’ll be the quarterback and then assign family members as committee chairs to manage financial aspects, location, food and activities. “Planning a reunion is too much for just one person to do,” said Loosli.
The reunion planner needs to connect with committee chairs regularly to ensure the work gets done. “Last summer, I got a call from somebody who had to call off the reunion because the person who was going to get the hotel never called any,” Wagner said.
4. Where should the family reunion take place?
If the reunion won’t be at a family member’s home that guests can travel to easily, look for a location near a big city. You’ll get proximity to airports, train stations and highways and avoid city hotels’ steep lodging and parking costs.
Many hotels have swimming pools, which kids enjoy. And “a hotel meeting room lets people set up displays with pictures of their ancestors,” said Wagner.
Wagner also suggests considering a ranch or a farm because “all the activities are there.”
Alternatively, guests can stay at VRBOs or Airbnbs. Those are challenging for holding big-group meetings, though.
5. How much will a family reunion cost?
That’s a decision the guests should agree on, factoring in costs for lodging, food, and activities as well as family members’ finances and travel expenses.
If some invited guests think they can’t afford to attend, they can tell the reunion chair confidentially to see if there’s a way to defray their costs. “My parents have always said to our family members, ‘If you’re in a tough spot financially, don’t hesitate to let us know,” said Loosli. “There’s never any talk of who got help and who didn’t.”
To keep costs down, many reunions hold fundraisers such as raffles, family cookbooks or cooking contests. The reunion host might agree to pay $500 or so to cover small expenses like family t-shirts or hats.
Hotels often require a down payment for a block of rooms, which may be negotiable. Book 25 or more rooms and you might get a free meeting room. But, Wagner said, don’t lock in the number of rooms until you know how many family members will be coming. Otherwise, you’ll get stuck paying for ones you won’t need.
The finance committee chair will collect any required upfront payments and get those expenses paid.
6. What about food for a family reunion?
(Image credit: Getty Images)
Some families prefer to hold all meals at the hotel or nearby restaurants. Others cook meals together and share the cost of ingredients. At some reunions, guests are responsible for their own breakfasts.
Reunions at hotels require special meal planning. “If you will have a banquet, you’ll need to decide if it’s going to be a buffet or seated and served,” said Wagner. “If family members want to bring their own food, you have to make sure the hotel will let them.”
Reunions at family farms sometimes set up stands for food, beer, soda, and ice cream and let attendees pay for what they purchase.
If your family hails from a particular country or area of the U.S., consider weaving your culinary traditions into your meal planning.
7. What activities should I plan for a family reunion?
That depends on what family members want. During the day, reunions typically include fun, outdoor activities. Nights are often for group dinners, parties, games, cooking contests and— later in the evening — adult discussions. Often, a reunion host speaks about the family genealogy at one of the dinners.
To nail down specifics, the activities chair might hold a Zoom call or create a multiple-choice poll for guests to select from.
Some reunions have creative activities. Loosli’s holds a playlist bonfire event where family members hear their relatives’ favorite songs of the year. It also has a talent show. “That’s fun because people can participate in their own way,” said Loosli. The optional Fear Factor game lets grandkids try to eat unusual foods like seaweed, with a $15 grand-prize winner.
8. How much free time should there be at the family reunion?
Free time is important. “That’s where people often connect in informal ways that can be extremely meaningful,” said Loosli.
Look for ways to build in time for golf, shopping, and catching up.
“Golfers in the family will be very happy if they get to play golf,” said Wagner. “If there’s a mall close by, there are going to be people happy to hear about that, too.”
9. What about photos, videos and documenting the reunion?
(Image credit: Getty Images)
Showing guests family pictures and home movies can be fun, especially nostalgic ones. “The best reunions happen when old family photos guide the conversation,” said Mitch Goldstone, who runs the ScanMyPhotos site.
Ask guests to send their favorite family images and videos in advance. If you get prints, slides, VHS tapes or DVDs, hire a professional to digitize them. Expect to pay about $50 for 250 photos and about $30 per VHS tape.
Then, create a curated slideshow or film, with music, to show at the reunion. Try to include funny photos. “The goofy and silly ones are the ones that get the tears and the laughs,” said Goldstone.
Be sure guests take plenty of reunion photos as well. “After our reunions, we create a Google album where everyone submits the favorite photo they took,” said Loosli. “Then, my sister’s present to our parents is a nice book containing the best pictures.”
10. What if I need planning help?
Professional party planners can help you hold and run a family reunion. Other sources for tips:
Reunions Magazine: This site offers expert advice, photos and stories from reunion planners celebrating their events. You can submit your own reunion reflections and memories to Wagner at editor@reunionsmag.com.
The National Family Reunion Institute: This site offers suggestions for planning and hosting reunions, particularly for African-American families. On March 28, the group will have a free virtual family reunion workshop for reunion planners.
For general help and research on genealogy, try free sites such as Find a Grave, the U.S. Census and Geneanet.
